Wednesday, January 26, 2011
My Own Blog? Why, Thank You!
So, here I am, starting my very own blog. The posts preceding this one are all re-posts of entries I contributed to a site aimed at a Millennial audience last year. Since that venture either went belly-up or in a new direction, depending on whom you talk to, I thought it was time to take things into my own hands. Stay tuned for thoughts on, well, most anything! Until I've got something new to offer enjoy the recycled goodness below.
A Gleek Who Doesn't Like 'Glee'?
c. October 2010
I want to like Glee. I really do. In fact I should love Glee, be a diehard ‘Gleek’, if you will. As a former High School theater devotee and chorus member who loves musicals I’m part of the show’s target audience (the rest of the target being tween girls). So I tune in most weeks, but usually watching feels more like a chore than a treat. Watching the antics of The Breakfast Club version 2.0 characters has become something done by rote with the hope that this time will be different. More often than not, I am disappointed and after tuning in to the first two episodes of season 2 I’ve realized that I need to let it go. I just can’t help but feel like this show is practically made for me, so what’s the problem?
I have come to realize that my overarching aversion to the show is the very thing that should be the highlight: the singing. The standard argument against musicals, heard, primarily, from straight males, is that the singing is too random. “No one breaks out in song like that in real life.”, they argue. Well, true enough, but at least when a character breaks out in song during ‘Oklahoma!’ or ‘West Side Story’ said song compliments the plot and, importantly, sounds natural. It works because the action and progression of the plot don’t come to a grinding halt while a song is sung and, most likely, a dance is done. Instead the story continues and is furthered by the musical interlude.
On Glee it seems the exact opposite is true. Sure, every once in a while the musical selection is poignant or meaningful to the plot, but more often than not it isn’t. The performances are jarring speed bumps come upon at random intervals over the course of the hour. Worse, the show uses auto-tune like it’s going out of style, which, to my ear, in this application, makes the musical selections sound so fake and overproduced that I am not able to enjoy what should be the most enjoyable part of the show.
So, with a twinge of remorse, I’m erasing the Glee season pass from my TiVo. Sure, I’ll miss Sue Sylvester and Kristin Chenoweth’s boozy guest spots, but I can’t take another season of hollow, forced Glee. Besides, I’ll always be a ‘Gleek’ at heart.
I want to like Glee. I really do. In fact I should love Glee, be a diehard ‘Gleek’, if you will. As a former High School theater devotee and chorus member who loves musicals I’m part of the show’s target audience (the rest of the target being tween girls). So I tune in most weeks, but usually watching feels more like a chore than a treat. Watching the antics of The Breakfast Club version 2.0 characters has become something done by rote with the hope that this time will be different. More often than not, I am disappointed and after tuning in to the first two episodes of season 2 I’ve realized that I need to let it go. I just can’t help but feel like this show is practically made for me, so what’s the problem?I have come to realize that my overarching aversion to the show is the very thing that should be the highlight: the singing. The standard argument against musicals, heard, primarily, from straight males, is that the singing is too random. “No one breaks out in song like that in real life.”, they argue. Well, true enough, but at least when a character breaks out in song during ‘Oklahoma!’ or ‘West Side Story’ said song compliments the plot and, importantly, sounds natural. It works because the action and progression of the plot don’t come to a grinding halt while a song is sung and, most likely, a dance is done. Instead the story continues and is furthered by the musical interlude.
On Glee it seems the exact opposite is true. Sure, every once in a while the musical selection is poignant or meaningful to the plot, but more often than not it isn’t. The performances are jarring speed bumps come upon at random intervals over the course of the hour. Worse, the show uses auto-tune like it’s going out of style, which, to my ear, in this application, makes the musical selections sound so fake and overproduced that I am not able to enjoy what should be the most enjoyable part of the show.
So, with a twinge of remorse, I’m erasing the Glee season pass from my TiVo. Sure, I’ll miss Sue Sylvester and Kristin Chenoweth’s boozy guest spots, but I can’t take another season of hollow, forced Glee. Besides, I’ll always be a ‘Gleek’ at heart.
Desperately Seeking Employment
c. August 2010
Reading the business section of the newspaper is enough to depress anyone these days. If you happen to be looking for a job, you may want to avoid it altogether to avoid the urge to go back to bed and hide. If you do look, you’ll see that nearly 15 million Americans are out of work, job growth is weak and no one knows when things will truly get better.
If you’re a Millennial, the news is even worse. Unemployment rates among 18 to 29-year-olds is near 20 percent, a high not seen for three decades. Our generation is graduating from college and entering the workforce with lots of debt, few prospects and loads of competition. An unjust reputation for being spoiled, coddled and lazy sure doesn’t help, either.
Some have searched for years for a steady job and now researchers are concerned about the implications, both financial and social, of prolonged unemployment for an entire generation. So what’s a job seeker to do?
First, align expectations with reality. A recent NYT article reported that 41 percent of recent college graduates have turned down a job offer. Reactions of shock and horror abound, but if you’re fortunate enough afford to be jobless then you can, and should, be choosy. I have been through two looooong periods of joblessness and have turned down jobs each time. Luckily, I was able to decline a sure-to-be soul-crushing gig.
However, you may need to bite the bullet and take a job that doesn’t thrill you. Whether that means waiting tables, folding sweaters or taking an entry-level job, you need to support yourself and gain some independence. No one wants to exhaust the good graces of others or get into a pile of debt they don’t have the means to repay. Plus, once you’re in that job you weren’t so thrilled about, you never know what opportunities may arise.
If you’re truly better than that entry-level position you can use it as a platform to shine and make your supervisors see you’re capable of handling a bigger position and you can always keep looking for a better fit on the QT.
Second, treat your job search like a job. Be methodical and devote adequate time to the search. It sounds corny, but make job search ‘office hours’ for yourself. It is easy to be distracted by Facebook, cleaning, trips to Target, laundry and repeats of the “Kardashians.” Putting a little structure around the process makes all the difference.
Third, think outside the box. One great way is to look for job postings with companies you like. Love your local museum? It may have a job opening that’s just right for you. Enjoy kayaking and spending time outdoors? There may be a great eco-tour company that would snap you right up.
Fourth, and finally, sell yourself. Take time to craft a cover letter that’s specific to the job. If you have a personal connection to the organization, that always helps. It can be something as simple as enjoying a product made by the company or as substantial as having interned with the organization.
Once you secure an interview, make the most of the opportunity. Dress appropriately, have a firm handshake (seriously, the floppy wrist is a proven non-starter), be prepared to answer common interview questions and be friendly and enthusiastic. No one wants to hire a wet blanket. Also, be sure to send a paper ‘thank you’ note. People love that.
Now, as I embark on my third post-grad job hunt, let’s see if I can follow my own advice…
Have you been looking for a job? Have you had success in finding one?
Reading the business section of the newspaper is enough to depress anyone these days. If you happen to be looking for a job, you may want to avoid it altogether to avoid the urge to go back to bed and hide. If you do look, you’ll see that nearly 15 million Americans are out of work, job growth is weak and no one knows when things will truly get better.
If you’re a Millennial, the news is even worse. Unemployment rates among 18 to 29-year-olds is near 20 percent, a high not seen for three decades. Our generation is graduating from college and entering the workforce with lots of debt, few prospects and loads of competition. An unjust reputation for being spoiled, coddled and lazy sure doesn’t help, either.
Some have searched for years for a steady job and now researchers are concerned about the implications, both financial and social, of prolonged unemployment for an entire generation. So what’s a job seeker to do?
First, align expectations with reality. A recent NYT article reported that 41 percent of recent college graduates have turned down a job offer. Reactions of shock and horror abound, but if you’re fortunate enough afford to be jobless then you can, and should, be choosy. I have been through two looooong periods of joblessness and have turned down jobs each time. Luckily, I was able to decline a sure-to-be soul-crushing gig.
However, you may need to bite the bullet and take a job that doesn’t thrill you. Whether that means waiting tables, folding sweaters or taking an entry-level job, you need to support yourself and gain some independence. No one wants to exhaust the good graces of others or get into a pile of debt they don’t have the means to repay. Plus, once you’re in that job you weren’t so thrilled about, you never know what opportunities may arise.
If you’re truly better than that entry-level position you can use it as a platform to shine and make your supervisors see you’re capable of handling a bigger position and you can always keep looking for a better fit on the QT.
Second, treat your job search like a job. Be methodical and devote adequate time to the search. It sounds corny, but make job search ‘office hours’ for yourself. It is easy to be distracted by Facebook, cleaning, trips to Target, laundry and repeats of the “Kardashians.” Putting a little structure around the process makes all the difference.
Third, think outside the box. One great way is to look for job postings with companies you like. Love your local museum? It may have a job opening that’s just right for you. Enjoy kayaking and spending time outdoors? There may be a great eco-tour company that would snap you right up.
Fourth, and finally, sell yourself. Take time to craft a cover letter that’s specific to the job. If you have a personal connection to the organization, that always helps. It can be something as simple as enjoying a product made by the company or as substantial as having interned with the organization.
Once you secure an interview, make the most of the opportunity. Dress appropriately, have a firm handshake (seriously, the floppy wrist is a proven non-starter), be prepared to answer common interview questions and be friendly and enthusiastic. No one wants to hire a wet blanket. Also, be sure to send a paper ‘thank you’ note. People love that.
Now, as I embark on my third post-grad job hunt, let’s see if I can follow my own advice…
Have you been looking for a job? Have you had success in finding one?
Life After Sports
c. July 2010
Thursday night, LeBron James will share his future NBA plans with the world in a one-hour ESPN special at 9 pm. The announcement can’t come soon enough for the countless people who have spent untold hours speculating on his future. It seems that everyone from President Obama to Betty White to T.I. has weighed in on the situation (personally, I’d love to know what Paul the Octopus predicts). There’s a lot on the line for LeBron, the team he chooses and, by extension, its fans.
America is a sports-loving country and even non-sports fans pay attention to stories that involve lots of talent, money and potential. Unending media coverage and endorsement deals make big stars hard to miss, but while we’re focused on today’s superstars, why don’t we worry more about the players of yesterday?
I’m talking about the guys who don’t end up in the Hall of Fame and never had contracts that rival a small country’s GDP. It isn’t unheard of for great players who earned substantial money in the pros to fall on hard times.
The Boston Globe recently profiled a former Celtics player who now lives out of his car. Ray Williams gave the NBA the best years of his life and was well compensated for his contributions to professional basketball, but he became a lost soul when he left the hardwood. No one prepared Williams and others like him for the reality of life as an average guy. No job training. No financial literacy courses.
There are organizations that help former pro-athletes through tough times, although to be fair it sounds like Williams has exhausted their good graces. I’m not saying that professional athletes deserve more of a helping hand because they have excelled in a sport. Some players leave the pros primed for success in another field or have managed their money well enough that they don’t have to work again.
Ray Williams living in his car, however, makes me think that teams and leagues should devote more resources to prepare athletes for life off the playing field.
Former NFL coach and NASCAR powerhouse Joe Gibbs recently coordinated a financial education seminar for Washington Redskins players and veterans. In 2009 Sports Illustrated reported that a stunning 78 percent of NFL players are overwhelmed by financial woes or succumb to bankruptcy just two years after leaving the league. If Gibbs and other leaders within the sports community would advise players in a range of professional sports, they’d be doing a terrific service.
Let’s face it – no professional sports team drafts a player for his business savvy. A team wants someone who knows the sport and can play it well. While being a pro athlete is a dream for many young athletes, it has a limited lifespan. An injury can take a player out of the game permanently and bodies can only perform at a high level for so long.
Many players carry their success forward, becoming coaches, entrepreneurs, commentators, or police officers. Those are all worthy second careers. I think everyone can agree that making it to the pros is an achievement that should not be diminished in retirement.
Do you think professional sports leagues and associations should provide more guidance about life after sports? Do you think the burden falls more on the athlete to manage his/her finances?
Thursday night, LeBron James will share his future NBA plans with the world in a one-hour ESPN special at 9 pm. The announcement can’t come soon enough for the countless people who have spent untold hours speculating on his future. It seems that everyone from President Obama to Betty White to T.I. has weighed in on the situation (personally, I’d love to know what Paul the Octopus predicts). There’s a lot on the line for LeBron, the team he chooses and, by extension, its fans.
America is a sports-loving country and even non-sports fans pay attention to stories that involve lots of talent, money and potential. Unending media coverage and endorsement deals make big stars hard to miss, but while we’re focused on today’s superstars, why don’t we worry more about the players of yesterday?
I’m talking about the guys who don’t end up in the Hall of Fame and never had contracts that rival a small country’s GDP. It isn’t unheard of for great players who earned substantial money in the pros to fall on hard times.
The Boston Globe recently profiled a former Celtics player who now lives out of his car. Ray Williams gave the NBA the best years of his life and was well compensated for his contributions to professional basketball, but he became a lost soul when he left the hardwood. No one prepared Williams and others like him for the reality of life as an average guy. No job training. No financial literacy courses.
There are organizations that help former pro-athletes through tough times, although to be fair it sounds like Williams has exhausted their good graces. I’m not saying that professional athletes deserve more of a helping hand because they have excelled in a sport. Some players leave the pros primed for success in another field or have managed their money well enough that they don’t have to work again.
Ray Williams living in his car, however, makes me think that teams and leagues should devote more resources to prepare athletes for life off the playing field.
Former NFL coach and NASCAR powerhouse Joe Gibbs recently coordinated a financial education seminar for Washington Redskins players and veterans. In 2009 Sports Illustrated reported that a stunning 78 percent of NFL players are overwhelmed by financial woes or succumb to bankruptcy just two years after leaving the league. If Gibbs and other leaders within the sports community would advise players in a range of professional sports, they’d be doing a terrific service.
Let’s face it – no professional sports team drafts a player for his business savvy. A team wants someone who knows the sport and can play it well. While being a pro athlete is a dream for many young athletes, it has a limited lifespan. An injury can take a player out of the game permanently and bodies can only perform at a high level for so long.
Many players carry their success forward, becoming coaches, entrepreneurs, commentators, or police officers. Those are all worthy second careers. I think everyone can agree that making it to the pros is an achievement that should not be diminished in retirement.
Do you think professional sports leagues and associations should provide more guidance about life after sports? Do you think the burden falls more on the athlete to manage his/her finances?
Don't Get Burned
c. June 2010
There are lots of signs that herald the arrival of summer. Floral blossoms turn into blooms, bathing suits appear in store windows, summer seasonal brews hit the pubs, and every woman’s magazine on the newsstand has a feature on skin cancer.
There’s good reason for concern. Cases of skin cancer are on the rise in the US and a growing number of doctors say that tanning can be addictive as drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. Tanning beds and booths are especially concerning to dermatologists.
A recent study showed that anyone who has ever used a tanning bed is 74 percent more likely to end up with melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer.
Over the past two decades the indoor tanning business has exploded into a billion dollar industry. During the same period skin cancer has become the most common form of cancer for 25-29 year olds.
“I’m just going to get a base tan” has become our generation’s “I can stop smoking whenever I want”. Many people don’t want to hear it, but the reality is there is no such thing as a ‘safe tan’. Any darkening of skin tone is an indicator that damage has been done to your skin.
Tanning beds and booths are particularly damaging. If you need further proof, last year a group of international scientists determined that tanning beds are carcinogenic. That puts them in the same category as asbestos, tobacco and arsenic.
Owners of tanning salons, as you can imagine, are upset by that study and others like it. The negative reports are also taking a toll on their bottom line. The health care bill passed in March includes a provision that mandates a 10 percent tax on sessions involving ultraviolet rays effective July 1st.
So-called ‘sin taxes’ are already levied on alcohol and tobacco in most states (some at higher rates than others), and the Congressional Joint Committee on Taxation projects the tax will raise $2.7 billion over 10 years.
Worship of the actual sun, rather than a glowing tanning bed, isn’t 100 percent safe, but, like alcohol, sun exposure brings health benefits along with the potential risks. The key, as with oh so many things in life, is moderation.
So while it’s probably fine to walk the dog without sunscreen a few times a week, you probably shouldn’t go lay on the beach from 10 am ‘til 2 pm with just a thin coat of 8 SPF.
As someone with fair skin, a family history of skin cancer and bad sunburns in my past I know I need to be careful. My approach to fun in the summer sun includes lots of SPF, scheduling an annual visit to the dermatologist for a ‘spot check’ and trying to worry just enough–but not too much–about the skin cancer horror stories in last month’s Glamour.
Do you worry about too much sun exposure but can’t stop using tanning beds? What’s your go-to SPF?
There are lots of signs that herald the arrival of summer. Floral blossoms turn into blooms, bathing suits appear in store windows, summer seasonal brews hit the pubs, and every woman’s magazine on the newsstand has a feature on skin cancer.
There’s good reason for concern. Cases of skin cancer are on the rise in the US and a growing number of doctors say that tanning can be addictive as drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. Tanning beds and booths are especially concerning to dermatologists.
A recent study showed that anyone who has ever used a tanning bed is 74 percent more likely to end up with melanoma, the deadliest form of skin cancer.
Over the past two decades the indoor tanning business has exploded into a billion dollar industry. During the same period skin cancer has become the most common form of cancer for 25-29 year olds.
“I’m just going to get a base tan” has become our generation’s “I can stop smoking whenever I want”. Many people don’t want to hear it, but the reality is there is no such thing as a ‘safe tan’. Any darkening of skin tone is an indicator that damage has been done to your skin.
Tanning beds and booths are particularly damaging. If you need further proof, last year a group of international scientists determined that tanning beds are carcinogenic. That puts them in the same category as asbestos, tobacco and arsenic.
Owners of tanning salons, as you can imagine, are upset by that study and others like it. The negative reports are also taking a toll on their bottom line. The health care bill passed in March includes a provision that mandates a 10 percent tax on sessions involving ultraviolet rays effective July 1st.
So-called ‘sin taxes’ are already levied on alcohol and tobacco in most states (some at higher rates than others), and the Congressional Joint Committee on Taxation projects the tax will raise $2.7 billion over 10 years.
Worship of the actual sun, rather than a glowing tanning bed, isn’t 100 percent safe, but, like alcohol, sun exposure brings health benefits along with the potential risks. The key, as with oh so many things in life, is moderation.
So while it’s probably fine to walk the dog without sunscreen a few times a week, you probably shouldn’t go lay on the beach from 10 am ‘til 2 pm with just a thin coat of 8 SPF.
As someone with fair skin, a family history of skin cancer and bad sunburns in my past I know I need to be careful. My approach to fun in the summer sun includes lots of SPF, scheduling an annual visit to the dermatologist for a ‘spot check’ and trying to worry just enough–but not too much–about the skin cancer horror stories in last month’s Glamour.
Do you worry about too much sun exposure but can’t stop using tanning beds? What’s your go-to SPF?
Un-reality TV
c. June 2010
My approach to ‘bad TV’ is similar to my approach to dietary indulgences. Every now and then, I treat myself to a small taste so I don’t feel deprived and binge. That means I’ll stop at Chick-Fil-A for an original crispy sandwich once every month and a half or so and, in that same vein, I devote about one hour a week to some trashy TV.
We all have our guilty pleasures when it comes to TV; shows we’ll talk about with our friends but wouldn’t bring up while having lunch with the boss.
Such indulgences could include Desperate Housewives, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Shore, anything featuring Pauly Shore. . . but with some guilty pleasures, especially those in the genre of reality TV, the pleasure can come to an abrupt end and leave us with guilt alone.
If you wonder where sexting came from, why some kids are such bullies that their victims escape the torment with suicide or how in the world a thirteen-year-old even knew the C-word, look no further than reality TV.
There are plenty of bad apples in the bunch (and good ones too), but let’s look at The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The show, a voyeuristic escapade at best, is one that I got sucked into and, for the most part, have not felt too guilty about watching. Recently, the show has devolved into a chronicle of apparent mental illness, bad behavior and bullying.
One ‘wife’ has a sex tape out, another faces bankruptcy and they all use language that could make a sailor blush as they rehash petty slights to grow mountains where there wasn’t even a molehill.
Believe me when I say I don’t think these shows are intended to provide role models. I’m not naïve enough to think they’re actually real. I do, however, think it’s gross and depressing that a show centering on family, even in the most superficial way, has devolved into such a hot mess.
Do I think the housewives, or reality TV in general, are to blame for all of society’s ills? Of course not, but it certainly isn’t helping. Like all train wrecks, The Real Housewives series may be hard to avoid, but I’m canceling my season pass.
Have you been turned off by a guilty TV pleasure you formerly enjoyed? Any suggestions for a replacement guilty pleasure to fill the void in my DVR? Preferably something that won’t make me want to shower after watching…
My approach to ‘bad TV’ is similar to my approach to dietary indulgences. Every now and then, I treat myself to a small taste so I don’t feel deprived and binge. That means I’ll stop at Chick-Fil-A for an original crispy sandwich once every month and a half or so and, in that same vein, I devote about one hour a week to some trashy TV.
We all have our guilty pleasures when it comes to TV; shows we’ll talk about with our friends but wouldn’t bring up while having lunch with the boss.
Such indulgences could include Desperate Housewives, The Real Housewives of New Jersey, Jersey Shore, anything featuring Pauly Shore. . . but with some guilty pleasures, especially those in the genre of reality TV, the pleasure can come to an abrupt end and leave us with guilt alone.
If you wonder where sexting came from, why some kids are such bullies that their victims escape the torment with suicide or how in the world a thirteen-year-old even knew the C-word, look no further than reality TV.
There are plenty of bad apples in the bunch (and good ones too), but let’s look at The Real Housewives of New Jersey. The show, a voyeuristic escapade at best, is one that I got sucked into and, for the most part, have not felt too guilty about watching. Recently, the show has devolved into a chronicle of apparent mental illness, bad behavior and bullying.
One ‘wife’ has a sex tape out, another faces bankruptcy and they all use language that could make a sailor blush as they rehash petty slights to grow mountains where there wasn’t even a molehill.Believe me when I say I don’t think these shows are intended to provide role models. I’m not naïve enough to think they’re actually real. I do, however, think it’s gross and depressing that a show centering on family, even in the most superficial way, has devolved into such a hot mess.
Do I think the housewives, or reality TV in general, are to blame for all of society’s ills? Of course not, but it certainly isn’t helping. Like all train wrecks, The Real Housewives series may be hard to avoid, but I’m canceling my season pass.
Have you been turned off by a guilty TV pleasure you formerly enjoyed? Any suggestions for a replacement guilty pleasure to fill the void in my DVR? Preferably something that won’t make me want to shower after watching…
The Girls Are Back in Town
c. June 2010
When I was newly married, I moved thousands of miles away from my family and friends with my new spouse. My husband was in the military and would frequently be gone for weeks at a time. Nights — when I found myself alone in my new city — could be isolating.
When I found myself feeling a bit homesick and craving a night out with my friends I knew what would make me feel better – spending the night with the girls: Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha.
My initial affection for the girls of “Sex and the City” blossomed after I graduated from college and moved in with my dad and stepmom. My stepmom was already a devoted fan and we bonded through discussions of the drama and fun of the series and by talking about the fashion, a shared love.
The fashion in the show was enough to draw anyone with even a passing interest in the sartorial. Carrie’s style choices were mesmerizing and bold; the character had a fearless approach to getting dressed that was inspiring even when she hit an off note (anyone else remember the scene in which she rocked a fanny pack?).
However good the clothes, shoes and bags may have been (and they were fabulous) they weren’t enough to captivate an audience on their own. “Sex and the City” was a hit with generations of women because of the relatable characters and their relationship with one another.
Even though the girls are decades older than I am (my mom is actually younger than Samantha) I, like many women, find elements of each of their personalities easy to relate to. Carrie and I both enjoy writing, I share Charlotte’s love of tradition, can relate to Miranda’s skeptical nature, and I also admire Samantha’s fierce devotion to her girlfriends.
Most appealing of all, though, is the friendship and bond these four women share. I came to love the show at a time when my life was in flux and my dearest friends and I were embarking on futures that would scatter us across the country. The four women taking New York by storm have served as a model for the friendships I hope to nourish, sustain and enjoy through the triumphs and challenges of my own life.
The four Cosmo-sipping women are a family unto themselves, and the idea of creating a family of choice is one that appeals to our generation.
Our notion of family has changed and evolved in America to the point where we routinely consider anyone we love to be family, regardless of whether we’re related by blood or marriage (Lord knows it can sometimes be a challenge to love the people we do share blood with).
When you stop and think about it, the “Sex and the City” gals are a younger, better dressed version of “The Golden Girls” or a chicer, urban version of “Designing Women,” earlier quartets of TV women who helped redefine our definition of family, feminism and friendship.
Given my affection for the girls, I was sorry to see the series end … and thrilled when the first movie debuted. But a week after seeing it, I still haven’t decided if I liked “Sex and the City 2″ or not. I went with low expectations for the plot and was ready for lots of over-the-top camp — that’s about what I got so I wasn’t terribly disappointed.
Some of the scenes are so lavish and over-the-top they’re worth the price of admission on their own (I laughed so hard I was almost crying at the scene featuring Liza). Plus, between the clothes and the sets, it is a visually stunning movie.
There were definitely disappointments – some of the dialogue, especially in the opening scenes, sounded forced and the plot relies on lame stereotypes for laughs, especially in the Middle East scenes.
Ultimately, though, I still enjoyed seeing the girls together again.
Since I’m torn, I think a second screening is in order. Regardless of where I land on my opinion of this movie, I’m confident I’ll ultimately be singing the same tune as Megan Molnar, and hoping for a third movie.
If I’ve learned nothing else from the girls, I have learned that more is more.
Has “Sex and the City” been a part of your life? How so? Do you relate to the characters like I do, and were you happy to see them come back in “Sex and the City 2?”
When I was newly married, I moved thousands of miles away from my family and friends with my new spouse. My husband was in the military and would frequently be gone for weeks at a time. Nights — when I found myself alone in my new city — could be isolating.
When I found myself feeling a bit homesick and craving a night out with my friends I knew what would make me feel better – spending the night with the girls: Carrie, Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha.
My initial affection for the girls of “Sex and the City” blossomed after I graduated from college and moved in with my dad and stepmom. My stepmom was already a devoted fan and we bonded through discussions of the drama and fun of the series and by talking about the fashion, a shared love.
The fashion in the show was enough to draw anyone with even a passing interest in the sartorial. Carrie’s style choices were mesmerizing and bold; the character had a fearless approach to getting dressed that was inspiring even when she hit an off note (anyone else remember the scene in which she rocked a fanny pack?).
However good the clothes, shoes and bags may have been (and they were fabulous) they weren’t enough to captivate an audience on their own. “Sex and the City” was a hit with generations of women because of the relatable characters and their relationship with one another.
Even though the girls are decades older than I am (my mom is actually younger than Samantha) I, like many women, find elements of each of their personalities easy to relate to. Carrie and I both enjoy writing, I share Charlotte’s love of tradition, can relate to Miranda’s skeptical nature, and I also admire Samantha’s fierce devotion to her girlfriends.
Most appealing of all, though, is the friendship and bond these four women share. I came to love the show at a time when my life was in flux and my dearest friends and I were embarking on futures that would scatter us across the country. The four women taking New York by storm have served as a model for the friendships I hope to nourish, sustain and enjoy through the triumphs and challenges of my own life.
The four Cosmo-sipping women are a family unto themselves, and the idea of creating a family of choice is one that appeals to our generation.
Our notion of family has changed and evolved in America to the point where we routinely consider anyone we love to be family, regardless of whether we’re related by blood or marriage (Lord knows it can sometimes be a challenge to love the people we do share blood with).
When you stop and think about it, the “Sex and the City” gals are a younger, better dressed version of “The Golden Girls” or a chicer, urban version of “Designing Women,” earlier quartets of TV women who helped redefine our definition of family, feminism and friendship.
Given my affection for the girls, I was sorry to see the series end … and thrilled when the first movie debuted. But a week after seeing it, I still haven’t decided if I liked “Sex and the City 2″ or not. I went with low expectations for the plot and was ready for lots of over-the-top camp — that’s about what I got so I wasn’t terribly disappointed.
Some of the scenes are so lavish and over-the-top they’re worth the price of admission on their own (I laughed so hard I was almost crying at the scene featuring Liza). Plus, between the clothes and the sets, it is a visually stunning movie.
There were definitely disappointments – some of the dialogue, especially in the opening scenes, sounded forced and the plot relies on lame stereotypes for laughs, especially in the Middle East scenes.
Ultimately, though, I still enjoyed seeing the girls together again.
Since I’m torn, I think a second screening is in order. Regardless of where I land on my opinion of this movie, I’m confident I’ll ultimately be singing the same tune as Megan Molnar, and hoping for a third movie.
If I’ve learned nothing else from the girls, I have learned that more is more.
Has “Sex and the City” been a part of your life? How so? Do you relate to the characters like I do, and were you happy to see them come back in “Sex and the City 2?”
Rock the Vote
c. May 2010
When I turned eighteen I didn’t rush out to buy porn, cigarettes and lotto.
Instead I went to the Registrar’s Office at my local City Hall and registered to vote. I didn’t exactly have lots of friends doing the same, so I began to worry that our generation might be a bit disconnected when it came to civic engagement.
Then, as a young Navy wife, I heard young military members and their spouses casually say, “eh, I’m not voting” if the subject of local elections came up. They would say things like “it’s not like I’m from here or plan to be here long so I’m not registered”. I always found that attitude perplexing, especially from people who serve their country.
At the time, my husband and I lived in California, a state obsessed with ballot measures and referendums. In the year-and-a-half I lived in San Diego, I think we voted three times on the proper placement of a large religious cross. Today, the issue still isn’t completely resolved.
I understand, then, voter ennui. Some issues require people to educate themselves and do a little homework. Still, I engaged more than one person in a friendly debate about why they should be informed and cast a ballot.
It’s shocking how quickly our society has gone from fighting for the right to vote to taking it for granted. Every time I enter the polling booth, I say a quiet thank you to the suffragists who gave women the right.
Today, though, I’m more and more encouraged about the voting habits of the Millennial generation as we continue to mature. Turnout among youth voters started on an upward trend in the 2004 and 2006 elections. In 2008, participation skyrocketed and TIME Magazineand dubbed it The Year of the Youth Vote.
The 2008 election also saw the highest turnout among young African Americans since 1972, and there’s encouraging new evidence that the young African Americans who voted in 2008 are planning to vote in upcoming midterm elections at higher rates than their white and Hispanic cohorts.
I live in an area that had local elections this week. I was happy to see other young people in line at the elementary school where I cast my ballot and friends posting reminders to vote on their Facebook feeds.
Most encouraging, though, was the fact that there were several candidates under 30 on local ballots. A student at Old Dominion University, who turned 21 during his campaign, was unsuccessful in his bid for mayor of Norfolk, Va.
Another Millennial made a bit of history by winning a seat on the Williamsburg (Va) City Council. Scott Foster is the first student at the College of William & Mary to be elected to the council. Foster ran on a platform that encouraged a stronger relationship between the permanent residents of Williamsburg and college students. He won with a clear majority of the votes, many cast by college students thanks to an impressive effort to get out the vote on campus.
What’s more, Foster was even endorsed by the local newspaper.
Most of us may not be ready to make a run at public office, but it’s inspiring to see members of our generation reaching out to their peers and elders to bring a community together.
So do your part. Register to vote, if you’re not already, and cast your ballot in the next election, local or otherwise.
And, if you need more incentive, the nice poll workers will give you a sticker when you’re done.
Are you registered? Do you turn out for local elections or just statewide and national ones? Do you have interest in voting for Congressional races this fall?
When I turned eighteen I didn’t rush out to buy porn, cigarettes and lotto.
Instead I went to the Registrar’s Office at my local City Hall and registered to vote. I didn’t exactly have lots of friends doing the same, so I began to worry that our generation might be a bit disconnected when it came to civic engagement.
Then, as a young Navy wife, I heard young military members and their spouses casually say, “eh, I’m not voting” if the subject of local elections came up. They would say things like “it’s not like I’m from here or plan to be here long so I’m not registered”. I always found that attitude perplexing, especially from people who serve their country.
At the time, my husband and I lived in California, a state obsessed with ballot measures and referendums. In the year-and-a-half I lived in San Diego, I think we voted three times on the proper placement of a large religious cross. Today, the issue still isn’t completely resolved.
I understand, then, voter ennui. Some issues require people to educate themselves and do a little homework. Still, I engaged more than one person in a friendly debate about why they should be informed and cast a ballot.
It’s shocking how quickly our society has gone from fighting for the right to vote to taking it for granted. Every time I enter the polling booth, I say a quiet thank you to the suffragists who gave women the right.
Today, though, I’m more and more encouraged about the voting habits of the Millennial generation as we continue to mature. Turnout among youth voters started on an upward trend in the 2004 and 2006 elections. In 2008, participation skyrocketed and TIME Magazineand dubbed it The Year of the Youth Vote.
The 2008 election also saw the highest turnout among young African Americans since 1972, and there’s encouraging new evidence that the young African Americans who voted in 2008 are planning to vote in upcoming midterm elections at higher rates than their white and Hispanic cohorts.
I live in an area that had local elections this week. I was happy to see other young people in line at the elementary school where I cast my ballot and friends posting reminders to vote on their Facebook feeds.
Most encouraging, though, was the fact that there were several candidates under 30 on local ballots. A student at Old Dominion University, who turned 21 during his campaign, was unsuccessful in his bid for mayor of Norfolk, Va.
Another Millennial made a bit of history by winning a seat on the Williamsburg (Va) City Council. Scott Foster is the first student at the College of William & Mary to be elected to the council. Foster ran on a platform that encouraged a stronger relationship between the permanent residents of Williamsburg and college students. He won with a clear majority of the votes, many cast by college students thanks to an impressive effort to get out the vote on campus.
What’s more, Foster was even endorsed by the local newspaper.
Most of us may not be ready to make a run at public office, but it’s inspiring to see members of our generation reaching out to their peers and elders to bring a community together.
So do your part. Register to vote, if you’re not already, and cast your ballot in the next election, local or otherwise.
And, if you need more incentive, the nice poll workers will give you a sticker when you’re done.
Are you registered? Do you turn out for local elections or just statewide and national ones? Do you have interest in voting for Congressional races this fall?
Mind Your Manners...Please...?
c. April 2010
Elizabeth Post, matriarch of the Post family, passed away this week. She was handed the reigns of the etiquette empire built by Emily Post, her husband’s grandmother, in 1965 and served as the voice of reason and good taste as Director of the Post Institute until her retirement 15 years ago.
Luckily, her children and grandchildren continue to honor the family’s legacy by helping people the world over navigate their way through society without making fools of themselves.
Elizabeth Post summed up the importance of good manners when she said, “Etiquette is meant to smooth the path between people to better relationships. It isn’t meant to be something restrictive or unpleasant.”
Who can’t get behind that?
Some consider etiquette to be a relic, a chore or thing of the past. Those people are, with all due respect, wrong. If you follow the news, it’s been hard to miss recent stories that highlight an apparent decline of civility in our society. I, for one, find the prospect of a more caustic and less civil atmosphere alarming.
Given the current environment, and in honor of Elizabeth Post’s contributions to our society, which have helped countless people handle sticky situations at home, work and on special occasions with grace and aplomb, let’s say we all brush up on our manners with some refreshers on civil discourse.
- Don’t yell. The only time this rule should be broken is when there’s a threat of imminent bodily harm to someone in your proximity. In an argument it seldom helps your case and it will only succeed in making you sound like a crazy loon. Don’t YELL IN TYPE either. It may be less damaging to the ears, but it’s equally ostracizing.
- Employ empathy. If you are in a conversation with people who are not minding their manners, don’t stoop to their level. Model the behavior you would like to have them display. Calmly tell them there’s no need to yell, name call, or do whatever inappropriate thing it is they’re doing. If that doesn’t work and things are devolving simply walk away. As the sage rapper Jay-Z once said: “A wise man told me don’t argue with fools/Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who”.
- If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This is especially true online. If you would be mortified to have your grandma see something you wrote - don’t post it. And don’t cop out and hide behind online anonymity. It’s not as anonymous as you think, and you should always be willing to own your words. We all gossip from time to time, but there’s a big difference between sharing some speculation with girlfriends you trust over cocktails and slandering someone’s good name in print. Do the former often and the latter never.
I could go on, but at the risk of sounding preachy I’ll stop. Go forth, be nice and make your mom proud by always remembering to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
What do you think? Is our society becoming less civil and more contentious? What realms of our society could use a behavioral boost?
Elizabeth Post, matriarch of the Post family, passed away this week. She was handed the reigns of the etiquette empire built by Emily Post, her husband’s grandmother, in 1965 and served as the voice of reason and good taste as Director of the Post Institute until her retirement 15 years ago.
Luckily, her children and grandchildren continue to honor the family’s legacy by helping people the world over navigate their way through society without making fools of themselves.
Elizabeth Post summed up the importance of good manners when she said, “Etiquette is meant to smooth the path between people to better relationships. It isn’t meant to be something restrictive or unpleasant.”
Who can’t get behind that?
Some consider etiquette to be a relic, a chore or thing of the past. Those people are, with all due respect, wrong. If you follow the news, it’s been hard to miss recent stories that highlight an apparent decline of civility in our society. I, for one, find the prospect of a more caustic and less civil atmosphere alarming.
Given the current environment, and in honor of Elizabeth Post’s contributions to our society, which have helped countless people handle sticky situations at home, work and on special occasions with grace and aplomb, let’s say we all brush up on our manners with some refreshers on civil discourse.
- Don’t yell. The only time this rule should be broken is when there’s a threat of imminent bodily harm to someone in your proximity. In an argument it seldom helps your case and it will only succeed in making you sound like a crazy loon. Don’t YELL IN TYPE either. It may be less damaging to the ears, but it’s equally ostracizing.
- Employ empathy. If you are in a conversation with people who are not minding their manners, don’t stoop to their level. Model the behavior you would like to have them display. Calmly tell them there’s no need to yell, name call, or do whatever inappropriate thing it is they’re doing. If that doesn’t work and things are devolving simply walk away. As the sage rapper Jay-Z once said: “A wise man told me don’t argue with fools/Cause people from a distance can’t tell who is who”.
- If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all. This is especially true online. If you would be mortified to have your grandma see something you wrote - don’t post it. And don’t cop out and hide behind online anonymity. It’s not as anonymous as you think, and you should always be willing to own your words. We all gossip from time to time, but there’s a big difference between sharing some speculation with girlfriends you trust over cocktails and slandering someone’s good name in print. Do the former often and the latter never.
I could go on, but at the risk of sounding preachy I’ll stop. Go forth, be nice and make your mom proud by always remembering to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’.
What do you think? Is our society becoming less civil and more contentious? What realms of our society could use a behavioral boost?
Gray Lady, Gray
c. April 2010
As someone who has long waged war against the white hairs that began cropping up on her head in high school (they’re wiry, blindingly white and multiplying at an alarming rate) I wasn’t sure what to make of the news that gray may be the hot new hair color.
Generations of women have crusaded against the ravages of time (or, in my case, genetics) sparing no expense and spending countless hours at the salon to stop–or should I say delay–the onset of grays or whitening hair.
Leave it to the Millennials to turn that predictable approach on its ear.
If you think the familiar arsenal of rebellious accoutrement – body piercings, risqué clothing, tattoos, etc…is played out then this is the attention-grabber for you.
Millennials are doing something grandma really never would have dreamed of at our age – we’re going gray.
Our society holds on to all kinds of stereotypes about hair color. Many women who dye their hair choose a color that reflects their personality or mood.
To bring us up to speed on the more popular perceptions (as if I need to): Blondes have the most fun. Brunettes are wholesome. Raven-haired women are mysterious. Redheads are fiery. And those with white or gray hair are ‘mature’.
So maybe it is time we let go of the idea that gray = old. After all, it’s one of the (many) areas where a gender-based double standard prevails. Men who have gone gray or white look “distinguished” while a woman with her roots showing looks “unkempt”. A woman who has allowed herself to go completely gray or white is “sophisticated” or “striking,” if she’s lucky.
There’s a growing body of evidence that suggests the tide is turning on gray. Some fashion designers even showed gray on the runway last week as they previewed their fall collections in New York and Paris. The jury may still be out on white, though model Agyness Deyn has sported white locks on the cover of Korean Vogue and Anne Hathaway went white all over to portray the White Queen in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.
I have to admit that a shiny silvery “do” on someone in their 20s or 30s has an appealing, punk rock sort of ethos behind it that I respect and can get behind.
But similar to tattoos and body piercings, I think it would look great on somebody else. For now, I’ll continue to forgo dye completely, pluck the straggly white hairs that crop up in noticeable spots and ignore the others – despite my stylist’s decree that “we have a situation back here”.
How about you – would you dye your hair gray or white? How do you think your mother or grandmother would react?
As someone who has long waged war against the white hairs that began cropping up on her head in high school (they’re wiry, blindingly white and multiplying at an alarming rate) I wasn’t sure what to make of the news that gray may be the hot new hair color.
Generations of women have crusaded against the ravages of time (or, in my case, genetics) sparing no expense and spending countless hours at the salon to stop–or should I say delay–the onset of grays or whitening hair.
Leave it to the Millennials to turn that predictable approach on its ear.
If you think the familiar arsenal of rebellious accoutrement – body piercings, risqué clothing, tattoos, etc…is played out then this is the attention-grabber for you.
Millennials are doing something grandma really never would have dreamed of at our age – we’re going gray.
Kate Moss, on trend as always, rocking some 'gray-lights'
Our society holds on to all kinds of stereotypes about hair color. Many women who dye their hair choose a color that reflects their personality or mood.
To bring us up to speed on the more popular perceptions (as if I need to): Blondes have the most fun. Brunettes are wholesome. Raven-haired women are mysterious. Redheads are fiery. And those with white or gray hair are ‘mature’.
So maybe it is time we let go of the idea that gray = old. After all, it’s one of the (many) areas where a gender-based double standard prevails. Men who have gone gray or white look “distinguished” while a woman with her roots showing looks “unkempt”. A woman who has allowed herself to go completely gray or white is “sophisticated” or “striking,” if she’s lucky.
There’s a growing body of evidence that suggests the tide is turning on gray. Some fashion designers even showed gray on the runway last week as they previewed their fall collections in New York and Paris. The jury may still be out on white, though model Agyness Deyn has sported white locks on the cover of Korean Vogue and Anne Hathaway went white all over to portray the White Queen in Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland.
I have to admit that a shiny silvery “do” on someone in their 20s or 30s has an appealing, punk rock sort of ethos behind it that I respect and can get behind.
But similar to tattoos and body piercings, I think it would look great on somebody else. For now, I’ll continue to forgo dye completely, pluck the straggly white hairs that crop up in noticeable spots and ignore the others – despite my stylist’s decree that “we have a situation back here”.
How about you – would you dye your hair gray or white? How do you think your mother or grandmother would react?
Watching MTV's 16 & Pregnant for the Right Reasons
c. April 2010
Earlier this year the teen pregnancy rate in America rose for the first time after a decade of decline.
Yet late last week The Washington Post reported a drop in the rate with “Births among U.S. teens ages 15 to 19 [falling] 2 percent from 2007 to 2008, according to the federal analysis of birth certificates nationwide, reversing two consecutive years of increases that had interrupted a 34 percent decline and caused alarm that one of the nation’s most successful social and public health successes was faltering.”
The ping-ponging nature of the statistics lead to no small amount of hand wringing or back patting, depending on which way the numbers sway. One of the latest hot spots for controversy has been the popularity of shows on MTV that either promote or chastise the situation.
If you have never tuned in, you might think shows like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant make pregnancy for teens seem chic, but it’s hard to sustain that argument after actually watching. The young couples profiled (if the male stuck around and that’s a big if) argue with each other and their parents while trying to cope with an emotional and intellectual reality beyond their aptitude. Rational thought and comprehension are rare, but teens who failed to use any sort of protection are near universal. In fact, each episode of season two has started with a requisite ‘chatting with the girlfriends’ scene where the pregnant teen owns up to failing to use protection.
If you feel like you’re seeing more and more programming that features pregnant teens, it isn’t your imagination. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has formed over 200 organizational partnerships, including many in the entertainment field. They work in concert with groups (2009 list) to help spread the message of prevention. (As an aside – if you find that at all alarming this will really freak you out).
Say what you will about this practice – some feel that the depiction of teen pregnancy on any TV program instantly ‘glamorizes’ the issue thanks to the medium (if it’s happening on TV it HAS to be cool). Others feel it’s important to start a dialogue any way they can since many parents are reluctant to initiate ‘the talk’ (40 percent of adolescents say they have already had sex by the time parents get around to it).
It is not an easy discussion to have, especially since the issue of unplanned parenthood leads to discussions of sex education and abortion, hotly contested in their own rights.
Still, it’s better to start a conversation through an episode of ‘Teen Mom’ than never have one at all.
Did your parents have 'the talk' with you? Have you had to talk to a younger relative about sex? Do you think 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom glorify teen pregnancy or make it appear unattractive?
Earlier this year the teen pregnancy rate in America rose for the first time after a decade of decline.
Yet late last week The Washington Post reported a drop in the rate with “Births among U.S. teens ages 15 to 19 [falling] 2 percent from 2007 to 2008, according to the federal analysis of birth certificates nationwide, reversing two consecutive years of increases that had interrupted a 34 percent decline and caused alarm that one of the nation’s most successful social and public health successes was faltering.”
The ping-ponging nature of the statistics lead to no small amount of hand wringing or back patting, depending on which way the numbers sway. One of the latest hot spots for controversy has been the popularity of shows on MTV that either promote or chastise the situation.
If you have never tuned in, you might think shows like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant make pregnancy for teens seem chic, but it’s hard to sustain that argument after actually watching. The young couples profiled (if the male stuck around and that’s a big if) argue with each other and their parents while trying to cope with an emotional and intellectual reality beyond their aptitude. Rational thought and comprehension are rare, but teens who failed to use any sort of protection are near universal. In fact, each episode of season two has started with a requisite ‘chatting with the girlfriends’ scene where the pregnant teen owns up to failing to use protection.
If you feel like you’re seeing more and more programming that features pregnant teens, it isn’t your imagination. The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy has formed over 200 organizational partnerships, including many in the entertainment field. They work in concert with groups (2009 list) to help spread the message of prevention. (As an aside – if you find that at all alarming this will really freak you out).
Say what you will about this practice – some feel that the depiction of teen pregnancy on any TV program instantly ‘glamorizes’ the issue thanks to the medium (if it’s happening on TV it HAS to be cool). Others feel it’s important to start a dialogue any way they can since many parents are reluctant to initiate ‘the talk’ (40 percent of adolescents say they have already had sex by the time parents get around to it).
It is not an easy discussion to have, especially since the issue of unplanned parenthood leads to discussions of sex education and abortion, hotly contested in their own rights.
Still, it’s better to start a conversation through an episode of ‘Teen Mom’ than never have one at all.
Did your parents have 'the talk' with you? Have you had to talk to a younger relative about sex? Do you think 16 & Pregnant and Teen Mom glorify teen pregnancy or make it appear unattractive?
Who You Callin' a Grownup?
c. April 2010
The age of adulthood has long been contested. Biologically, the onset of puberty–which is coming earlier and earlier–is the indicator.
Legally, you’re no longer a minor in the United States when you turn eighteen (you can also vote, join the military and legally purchase cigarettes, lotto and porn – woohoo!).
You’re able to purchase and consume alcohol when you’re twenty-one. And now, as if those first three weren’t confusing enough, you can stay on your parent’s health care policy until you’re twenty-six.
It’s no wonder the Millennial Generation doesn’t know if it’s coming or going.
Admittedly, I say all this as a pretty non-millennial Millennial. I recently took the Pew Center’s ‘How Millennial Are You?’ quiz and got a 33. That score ranked me just below the ‘Gen X’ marker. I’m not quite sure what to make of it – am I a curmudgeon before my time?
I digress. Regardless of where I fall on the generational spectrum, more and more anecdotal and statistical evidence shows that members of this generation suffer from either a ‘failure to launch’ or ‘boomerang’ syndrome. Scores of ‘kids’ in their early twenties (and plenty older than that) are either moving back in with mom and dad or never leaving in the first place. I’m not surprised, given the contradictory definitions and milestones for adulthood that we face in our society.
Are you an adult when you get your high school diploma? Join the Navy? Get married? Graduate college? Get your first job? Have a child of your own? Handle your first auto emergency without calling dad?
There’s no easy answer.
College campuses, summer camps, and even employers are coping with an influx of students who have ‘helicopter parents’ reluctant to cede control of their children’s lives to other capable adults or, *gasp!* to the grown children themselves.
No doubt, the desire to protect and ease the life of your child is well-intentioned, but I thank my lucky stars my parents resist that urge on a daily basis (after I hit a certain age, of course - about sixteen) and let me succeed or fail on my own merit. It’s difficult to figure out who benefits from a parent calling a new employer to insist you be given a day off, or ask why you didn’t get a raise.
Instances like that are especially tough to hear when you learn the stories of those who come of age with virtually no support system to see them through the transition to adulthood. NPR recently did a story on children aging out of foster care that brought an often-overlooked aspect of the age of independence into sharp focus. Evidence seems to indicate that we are, as a society, failing to prepare our children for adulthood.
The economy certainly plays a factor. It’s well near impossible to get on your feet and start your own household if you don’t have any income.
Circumstance and fate play a large role, as well. If I hadn’t happened to fall madly in love and get married to a military man at 22 who knows where I’d be right now – quite possibly in my mom or dad’s spare room. And even though I’ve graduated college, married, moved across the country and back, bought a home and then some, I still rarely FEEL like an adult.
A friend from high school recently posted a video from our senior musical on Facebook. It seems like it could have been yesterday, though it was more like 11 years ago.
I’ve changed and grown in some very significant ways since then, yet I still like to think that, in some fundamental ways, I’m much the same person I was then. I have a lot of the same close friends, have retained many of the same core values, and have some of the same aspirations.
I don’t know when I’ll ever feel like an adult, though.
A little bit of me hopes it’s never.
How did you know you were a grownup? Leave a comment below, and let me know what you think.
The age of adulthood has long been contested. Biologically, the onset of puberty–which is coming earlier and earlier–is the indicator.
Legally, you’re no longer a minor in the United States when you turn eighteen (you can also vote, join the military and legally purchase cigarettes, lotto and porn – woohoo!).
You’re able to purchase and consume alcohol when you’re twenty-one. And now, as if those first three weren’t confusing enough, you can stay on your parent’s health care policy until you’re twenty-six.
It’s no wonder the Millennial Generation doesn’t know if it’s coming or going.
Admittedly, I say all this as a pretty non-millennial Millennial. I recently took the Pew Center’s ‘How Millennial Are You?’ quiz and got a 33. That score ranked me just below the ‘Gen X’ marker. I’m not quite sure what to make of it – am I a curmudgeon before my time?
I digress. Regardless of where I fall on the generational spectrum, more and more anecdotal and statistical evidence shows that members of this generation suffer from either a ‘failure to launch’ or ‘boomerang’ syndrome. Scores of ‘kids’ in their early twenties (and plenty older than that) are either moving back in with mom and dad or never leaving in the first place. I’m not surprised, given the contradictory definitions and milestones for adulthood that we face in our society.
Are you an adult when you get your high school diploma? Join the Navy? Get married? Graduate college? Get your first job? Have a child of your own? Handle your first auto emergency without calling dad?
There’s no easy answer.
College campuses, summer camps, and even employers are coping with an influx of students who have ‘helicopter parents’ reluctant to cede control of their children’s lives to other capable adults or, *gasp!* to the grown children themselves.
No doubt, the desire to protect and ease the life of your child is well-intentioned, but I thank my lucky stars my parents resist that urge on a daily basis (after I hit a certain age, of course - about sixteen) and let me succeed or fail on my own merit. It’s difficult to figure out who benefits from a parent calling a new employer to insist you be given a day off, or ask why you didn’t get a raise.
Instances like that are especially tough to hear when you learn the stories of those who come of age with virtually no support system to see them through the transition to adulthood. NPR recently did a story on children aging out of foster care that brought an often-overlooked aspect of the age of independence into sharp focus. Evidence seems to indicate that we are, as a society, failing to prepare our children for adulthood.
The economy certainly plays a factor. It’s well near impossible to get on your feet and start your own household if you don’t have any income.
Circumstance and fate play a large role, as well. If I hadn’t happened to fall madly in love and get married to a military man at 22 who knows where I’d be right now – quite possibly in my mom or dad’s spare room. And even though I’ve graduated college, married, moved across the country and back, bought a home and then some, I still rarely FEEL like an adult.
A friend from high school recently posted a video from our senior musical on Facebook. It seems like it could have been yesterday, though it was more like 11 years ago.
I’ve changed and grown in some very significant ways since then, yet I still like to think that, in some fundamental ways, I’m much the same person I was then. I have a lot of the same close friends, have retained many of the same core values, and have some of the same aspirations.
I don’t know when I’ll ever feel like an adult, though.
A little bit of me hopes it’s never.
How did you know you were a grownup? Leave a comment below, and let me know what you think.
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